Conversation is an important part of every date, and if you don’t at least make an effort to start some good conversations, things aren’t going to get very far. What you talk about can make or break your budding relationship. It’s how you determine whether you’re compatible, it makes the date interesting, and it’s also part of the flirtation. Of course, the downside is that if you’re not on your toes with some good conversation skills, you may end up driving your potential love interest away. If you want to avoid that, here are a few coming date conversation mistakes to avoid.

1. Taking over every conversation: If you’re one of those people who constantly redirects all conversations back to yourself, this might not bode well for your dating prospects. Of course, talking about yourself is a central component of date conversation, but you don’t want to seem so self-absorbed that you don’t even care about what your date has to say on things. Show that you’re interested by always asking your date’s thoughts and feelings on things that you talk about. Also, make sure you ask plenty of questions. If you have trouble coming up with conversation topics on the spot, come up with a list beforehand and memorize it prior to your date.

2. Gadget interruptions: Many young people these days are perpetually wrapped up in their cell phones and other gadgets, and while this may be good for maintaining your social network and boosting your work productivity, it’s not a boon to your love life. At least for these couple of hours that you’re on a date, turn off your gadget and focus on real, interpersonal contact. Fidgeting with your phone throughout your date sends the message that you don’t care and that your priorities are in the wrong places. Plus, it’s just disrespectful.

3. Dead-end answers: When your date asks you a question about yourself, don’t give the types of answers that grind a good conversation to a halt. Rather than just saying “yes” or “no” or giving a meager one-sentence answer, try to expand upon everything that your date says. If he or she brings up a topic that you’re not particularly interested in, shift the conversation into an area where you can be engaged and put your best foot forward.

4. Being who you think you’re supposed to be: Dates are nerve wracking, especially when you’re going on a date with a new person for the first time. It’s easy to become so nervous that you forget to be yourself, and you may go into an autopilot mode where you start saying the things you think you’re supposed to say. Although this may feel safe, it also may portray you as somewhat boring and conventional. Even if it means risking this potential relationship, try to be yourself as much as possible. Remember that if things get more serious, this person is going to find out who you really are sooner or later, so you might as well be your real self now.

5. Being too negative: Even if you’re a naturally pessimistic person, try to present your glass-is-half-full side at least on the first few dates. There’s nothing wrong with being the way you are, but the simple fact is that positive people make better first impressions. Save your more pessimistic side for later on, and for now try to let your lighter and more fun-loving side come through. Of course, if you’re naturally a more positive person, then just be yourself.

6. Avoiding eye contact: Many people get so nervous on first dates that they forget one of the most fundamental aspects of making interpersonal connections—eye contact. If you fail to consistently look your date in the eye, you’ll send the message that you’re not that interested and that you don’t feel a strong connection with them. So don’t just look around the room or down at your hands. Focus on your date, and show your interest by keeping all your attention locked on them. Also, don’t forget that making eye contact is a good way to start the flirtation stage of a date. Too much eye contact can be creepy, though, so don’t go overboard.

7. Being insensitive: In this diverse society, it’s important to keep in mind that we have many different groups of people with myriad different outlooks on life. When you start having conversations with your date, don’t assume that he or she is on the same page as you on every matter. In all likelihood, you will have some profound differences. These differences don’t have to get in the way in the long-term, but if you rub your date the wrong way by making insensitive comments now, you can make a very bad first impression.

Every generation likes to think it’s special, but most people just become more and more like their parents as they age. However, 21st century women are truly unique in countless ways. Not only are they more powerful and better educated than any past generation of women, but they are also tech-savvy, are great at multitasking, and don’t have much patience for some of the things that past generations of women routinely put up with.

With their new power, no longer do women have to conform to the standards of what’s supposedly good and proper for women. These days, a young woman can truly go after what she wants. We usually think of this new found freedom as relating to the professional world, but it’s just as significant when it comes to love and dating. Modern women in general have a new set of priorities, and this comes with new rules of etiquette.

Rule #1: You don’t have to let him have power over you. In the old days, men often felt that they could take ownership over women in many respects. These days, however, men have no business thinking that they can exert overbearing control over their dates, girlfriends, or wives. As a young woman, you are free to be who you want to be, and you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your best qualities in order to find lasting love.

Rule #2: You’re not obligated to do anything. There was a period during the late 20th century where it seemed like sex was just a routine part of dating, but this is no longer the case. Unless you’re just looking to have some fun, then you probably don’t want to get physical with guys who don’t impress you in other ways. You are not obligated to do anything you don’t want to do, and you’re free to extract yourself from any situation that makes you uncomfortable. This may seem obvious to us now, but it wasn’t always so.

Rule #3: Your goals come first. If you have career or personal ambitions and don’t want to give them up just to placate a guy, then listen to yourself first and foremost. There are many fish in the sea, and you shouldn’t give up on your hopes and dreams just to make a guy stay with you or to bring peace to a relationship. There may be a time to settle down later on in life, but now is the time to follow where your own ambitions and dreams lead you. Believe it or not, even the cutest guy is not worth giving these things up.

Rule #4: Your friends are important. Don’t let any guy try to drag you away from your own social life. If he wants you, he has to be willing to get on friendly terms with your friends. When going on a date with a guy, try to get a feel for whether he will match up well with the other aspects of your social life. Again, don’t be tempted into giving up important aspects of your own life just for love.

Rule #5: Your intuition is usually right. Sure, we have technology and a world of knowledge at our fingertips, but there’s no need to go Googling answers to relationship problems when your heart is already telling you the answer. That little voice is your intuition, and it’s been the most reliable basis for female decision-making for thousands of years.

Rule #6: He doesn’t need to be rich. Today’s women can take care of themselves, and we don’t need guys who can pay for every little thing. The best effect of this is that we can now focus on other aspects of a guy’s personality. For example, rather than focusing on wealth, we can consider things like personal ambition, kindness, creative energy, and social consciousness. When it comes to money and finances, take care of yourself, and let your boyfriend do the same.

Blind dates are among the most frightening experiences in dating. Whether you’re meeting someone you met online sight-unseen or have been set up by a friend, the pressure in this type of situation always seems more intense than for a normal first date. The hours leading up to the date can be utterly nerve-racking, and you may be tempted to call the whole thing off. But your blind date doesn’t have to be as scary as it seems. Just loosen up, try to have fun, and keep in mind that it doesn’t have to go beyond this one date if you don’t want it to.

Blind dates have many of the same rules of etiquette as standard dates, but there are also a few unique concerns to keep in mind. These seven blind date etiquette rules should help make things easier.

1. Don’t expect: If you were set up on this date by a friend, then your friend probably talked up this person to make them seem perfect for you. Try to put anything they said out of your mind, and avoid imagining ahead of time how things are going to go. Any expectations that you build up are just going to prove to be false, so go into the experience as clear-headed as possible.

2. Don’t show disappointment: If you show up on your date and are underwhelmed by your date’s looks or immediate personality, don’t let these feelings come through, or else you’ll create an awkward situation. It’s fine if you realize early on that it’s not going to work out with your date, but you can still relax and enjoy yourself.

3. Delay judgment: We all act a little funny on first dates, and things get even weirder on blind dates. If you’re feeling nervous, chances are your date feels just as bad. Understand that he or she is probably not acting normal, and allow a little while for you and your date to get more comfortable with each other. When you perceive that your date is beginning to relax, then you can start determining whether he or she is right for you.

4. Have a sense of humor: Blind-date nervousness can cause you to clam up and act more serious than you actually are. Try to loosen up, and don’t be afraid to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood. Your date will appreciate it.

5. Keep the conversation going: It’s generally not a good idea to do too much preparation before a blind date, as this can just amp up your nervousness, but it does help to have a loose set of questions to ask when the conversation lags. Think about things that are important to you, and try to find graceful, socially acceptable ways to get down to what makes this person tick and how they will behave in a relationship.

6. Portray yourself honestly: We all try to make ourselves look a little better than we are on first dates, but try to avoid portraying a dishonest picture of yourself. You want to impress your date, but keep in mind that if things go well, he or she is going to learn the truth about you.

7. End it gracefully: By the end of a typical date, you’ll probably have a pretty good sense of whether or not you want to continue seeing this person. However, in most cases it’s best simply to exchange numbers and not make any promises. You’ll probably need time to reflect before you know your true feelings. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, and try not to hurt your date’s feelings by indelicately rejecting them on the spot.